A Sirius Affair
by LilyPotter
Summary: No, not THAT kind of affair...honestly....anyway...it's about...you guessed it! Sirius! REVIEW! Chapter 7 uploaded!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: I realize how short this is. However, this was a story I promised to write for a friend long ago. Katie, I hope you enjoy it.  
  
A Sirius Affair  
  
By Lily_Potter  
  
Sirius Black walked down the hallway of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry smiling. This would not be such an uncommon occurrence, except for the fact that students were edging up against the wall as he passed, and running their fastest in the opposite direction that Sirius was heading to. Everyone in Hogwarts School knew that if Sirius began to smile he was looking for a new victim to play a prank on, and if the smile happened to land on you, you should just pray to whatever God you believe in, and head for the nearest room with a locking door. Not that it held him out, mind. Once Sirius got it into his head to play a prank on you, a locked door would only hold him off for a few minutes, and if you did have the good fortune to get into a room with a locking door AND a window you could jump out of, Sirius would consider it a bad day, go off with a sad, puppy expression on his face, and torment Peter, who was always an easy victim.  
  
Sirius continued to stroll slowly down the hallway, smiling vaguely at everything and everyone. A suit of armour moved out of his way as he passed and smiled at it, and the armour took off down the hall after he had passed, knocking over several students as it tried to get away. Finally, Sirius stopped at the very end of the hall, and casually leaned against it. By now the hallway was totally clear, and (as Professor McGonagall remarked to Professor Flitwick,) it was amazing how every student got to class early. Except for Sirius, of course, who was still in the hallway. And three others. Sirius leaned up against the stone wall, and one of the large stones that made up the wall moved slightly out, making a kind of chair. Sirius sat in it, and was ejected backwards, through the wall.   
  
He landed in a soft, comfortable kind of room, got up, and rubbed his back and head, which is what he had landed on.  
  
"We either need to get wall to wall carpeting so that we won't land on the stone, or we need to find another way to get in here," he remarked, not to himself, as it seemed at first, but to three others, who had been ejected into the room each from a different wall.  
  
"Well, you have got to admit," said Remus Lupin, a pale short boy with brown hair, "that it is rather handy that you can reach this room from anywhere in the school, so long as you say the right word. I'm all for the wall to wall carpeting idea."  
  
"Maybe a trampoline," said James Potter, a tall, skinny boy with messy black hair.  
  
"No you idiot," snapped Sirius, "How are we going to get it in here?"  
  
"The same way you get the carpeting in here."  
  
"Good point."   
  
"What we should really put in here is a couple of house elves to make food for us."  
  
"Peter, is that all you think about?"  
  
"Umm..."  
  
"Never mind, I don't want to know."  
  
"Sirius, that's all you think about too, so don't bother him."  
  
"You should talk James, half of your intelligent muttering while you're sleeping is about food, and the other is about..."  
  
"Don't say it, don't say it..."  
  
"LILY!" Sirius yelled grinning delightedly.  
  
"You just HAD to say it, didn't you?" muttered James.  
  
"Of course, how else could I bother you?"  
  
"Ummm...just by being in the same room as me?"  
  
"I love you James."  
  
"Sirius, if you don't shut up now, I'm going to punch you ALMOST as hard as Lily punched Snape."  
  
"Ok, ok, sorry. So anyway, what we need to do is go up the astronomy tower, you know, when we have detention. All that we need to do is make a couple of...changes to the tower. Such as...oh, I don't know, falling meteorites that look like they're about to make Hogwarts a big bonfire when they hit, but fizzle out into nothing just before..."  
  
"I'm in. What charm do we use?"  
  
A/N: It gets better, I promise. This is just an intro. Anyway...just review. Please?  
  
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Archie, who likes a healthy breeze around his privates.   



	2. Chapter 2

A/n: Here it is! Part 2!  
  
"The astronomy tower, what a wonderful place to be!" Said Sirius, as he looked at the shining glass windows and rubbed his hands together.  
  
"I always knew you were completely and totally mad, but I never thought you'd go this far around the bend," muttered Lily. She was with the marauders as well, they had gotten her into trouble, and she wasn't happy about it. Ok, they did was pour Lily's cauldron onto Snape, but really...  
  
"Of course I'm totally and completely mad, what else would you think of to look at me? Besides tall, dark and handsome, of course..." Sirius struck a pose. Lily snorted.  
  
"Well, your not exactly tall, dark, well, I will grant you that one, but handsome? Sirius, have you had the use of a working, working mind you, mirror? Or has everyone of them shattered on you?"  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Sirius, you have to admit, you were asking for that one."  
  
"Shut up James, or I will make you shut up." Said Sirius, with a grin on his face.  
  
James flashed a grin at Lily, and then stood directly in front of Sirius.  
  
"How?" He asked. It did present a rather absurd picture, James's 6'1 towering over Sirius's 5'5.  
  
"By physical force, if necessary," Sirius said, lightly tapping James with a rag that he was using to polish the windows.  
  
"Oh, go back to work, Padfoot, before I snap your bony self in half," Said James, snatching the rag from Sirius, and then throwing it back to him.  
  
"Bony self? Bony Self! Excuse me Mr. You-Can't-See-Me-When-I-Stand-Sideways-Next-To-My-Broomstick."  
  
"Oh, shut up! Both of you!" Lily said, shoving herself in between them, making the picture even more absurd. She was only 5'3, and it looked like a mouse trying to separate two very tall giraffes.  
  
"Yes, my lady!" said Sirius presenting a courtly bow. James did the same, and then they both kissed her hand and went back to washing the windows. Lily made a big deal of trying to scrub her hand, wiped them on her robes, and started for a window at the other end of the tower, as far away from both of them as was humanly possible when serving a detention.  
  
"Now," said Sirius, "For the optical illusion that a meteorite is going to crush Hogwarts, what spell should we use?"  
  
"The wish on a falling star charm," said James promptly.  
  
"Of course," said Sirius, "except for the problem that it is very advanced, and none of us would be able to do it...except, of course...Lily, dearest?"  
  
"No," said Lily. "I don't know what it is, but no."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Last time you used that tone of voice, I had to do the Animagi charm, now there are four large animals roaming around Hogwarts on the full moon. I don't know what got in to me, besides the fact that the intensity of the charm made me so tired that I had to stay in bed with Madame Pomfrey clucking over me for three days..."  
  
"But you fainted into James' arms, and that made him happy."  
  
"Sirius, if you say anything about that to anybody...I won't do the spell that you want me to do."  
  
"So you'll do it then?"  
  
"Me and my mouth..." Lily muttered, "Okay, fine. I will...bloody idiot, that's what I am..."  
  
"I love you Lily."   
  
"I don't love you Sirius."  
  
"I feel so unloved."  
  
"Good," said Lily. "Now, the Wish On a Falling Star Charm...let me see...got it!" Lily looked at the sky, took out her wand, and began to say the charm.  
  
"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference where you are, anything your heart desires will come to you...Star light, star bright, first star I see to night, I wish you'd fall upon this hall, but shatter right be for you light."  
  
"Isn't that from a movie?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry, I wasn't feeling very creative when I made this up, Ok?"  
  
"Thank you Lily."  
  
"No Prob-WHAT IS THAT?"  
  
A big, black flag appeared to swoop across the sky.  
  
A/n: Dun dun dun! Yes, the flag does have significance, I just won't tell you what. You'll have to wait until the next chapter. Humph. Teehee.   
  
Hint: If you know anything about Les Mis, you might have a clue as to what the flag means.  
  
Disclaimer: All proceeds go to: Ludo Bagman, who lost all his money to the Goblins.   
  
  
  
  
  



	3. What in the world could that be?

A/N: Geeze, I have been neglecting this story since what, June? How sad. Anyway, this will be a long authors note. Sorry. Anyway, kudos to the person who got my 1776 allusion. I meant to add that in my a/n last time, but forgot. Apparently, I committed plagiarism twice in my last story, without realizing it, and I beg forgiveness. The first one is my title. A Sirius Affair was also a Carole and Penny story. I hadn't even HEARD about them until a whole bunch of people told me. Their stories are really good. Go read them. Also, a friend told the "bony-self" line to me, and I used it, not realizing that the line was actually taken from a story by Giesbrecht. Another good story that I had to check up on. The line is in the story Some Things Are Better Left Unknown. Many people may say that this is just a pitiful excuse, I'm going to be blacklisted, I'm lying, and all that other rot. Well, I'm not lying, if I'm blacklisted, whoops, and I'm deeply sorry to both amazing authors. Right now I'm wondering if I could grovel...and if groveling would be enough for them to forgive me...**bursts into tears** PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I DIDN'T KNOW!!! I'M SOOOOO SORRY!!!!!! **Looks up hopefully** is that enough?? Or do I have to do more?? I will, but it does get hard on the knees after a while. ANYWAY...wow. Long authors note. I didn't mean it to be this long...whoops. Well, to the story...  
  
  
"What in the world was that?" James stared at the sky, where the enormous black flag had just passed them. Lily snorted.  
  
"Is that what you say after something so definitely evil passes? 'What in the world was that?' Honestly. I can just picture this, Voldemort coming to your house, trying to murder you, and as you're dying, you say, 'what in the world was that?' Really, quite touching last words, actually..."  
  
"Oh shut up," James said, looking very annoyed. Then he smiled. "Ok, Miss, 'that's-so-evil,-let-me-tell-you,-that-thing-is-not-raidiating-good-vibes,' what in the world was that, if you're so smart?"  
  
"I don't know," said Lily primly, trying to look down her nose at James's 6'1 and failing miserably. "You're Mr. I'm-so-great-I'm-Mr.-Hot-Pure-blood-Quiddtich-player, you tell me."  
  
"Well, at least I'm not Miss..."  
  
"Shut up, both of you," said Remus. "I think I do know what it is, and I think, Lily, if you have any muggle musical background, you would too."  
  
"See, I told you!" cried James gleefully. "I...TOLD...YOU...oooooo...I went there..."  
  
"James would you kindly act like the sixteen year old that you are and not...oh wait, all sixteen year old guys act like they're two, so there is no help in this world for any of us...Remus, what were you saying?"  
  
"Lil, think a very famous French author, who wrote a book, and then it got turned into an operetta."  
  
"Les Miserables? But what does that have to do with anything...oh."  
  
"Yes, exactly. Oh. Did you know that that book and script was written by wizards? Victor Hugo was one. And everything in it had a particular meaning with a spell. So, therefore, every song in there talks about something from wizardry. And there is a nice song about flags. Black and red flags, in fact."  
  
"Would someone kindly tell me what the heck is going on?" asked Sirius, trying to get into the thick of things, as always.  
  
"Ok, listen, and listen good," said Lily as dangerously as she could. Sirius was briefly reminded of a saber-tooth tiger, and would have said so, except that Lily was glaring at them all so hard, that he snapped back to attention at what Lily was saying, before he could help himself. "There is a muggle play called Les Miserables. It was written for and by wizards, but it was a huge flop in the wizarding world, even though it's a great success in the muggle world. In everything that they sing in that play, it means a warning against some sort of dark arts. There is a song about flags, red and black flags. In the story, the men talking about going to war. The black flag means the "dark of ages is past," or in layman's terms the dark arts are going to rise. The red means "The blood of angry men," or, more simply put the dark arts are up and blood is going to be spilt. In Les Miserables, when a guy waves a red flag, the war was just about to end, and after that, everybody dies, except for the main characters. The black flag is bad, the red flag is worse. If anyone sees the red flag, which means that the dark arts are about to win, unless something very powerful can stop them. Have you got all that?" she asked, still glaring.  
  
"Yes," they all muttered, looking at the floor.  
  
"Good," she said, and her glare softened. "Because I'm not going through it again."  
  
"We wouldn't want you to, believe me," said Sirius in a very fake, very strained voice.  
  
"Shut up, Padfoot."  
  
"Can it, Prongs."  
  
"If I could can you, the world would be a much better place, you know what they say about all that environmental stuff, recycle garbage..."  
  
"SHUT UP!" yelled Remus. "Listen, this is a very, very bad thing that happened, but we don't know completely what it means. If we let this thing happen, James just might get to use his 'what in the world is that?' line as he dies. Therefore, what do we need to do?"  
  
"Go to Dumbledore!" Said Peter in a high, frightened voice. Sirius jumped. He had forgotten Peter was there. (A/N: So did I. I had to make the evil rat say SOMETHING!)  
  
"No," said Remus, "even if a Dumbledore is very believing and all that, we need more information. Besides, we always work better when we're on our own."  
  
"I get it," said Lily. "It's time to hit the library." Sirius was shocked.   
"WHAT???!?!?" he yelled, looking at them all. "We're in sixth year. The only time we ever went to the library at all was to figure out how to become animagus, and to figure out where the kitchens were. We can't go to the library and actually RESEARCH?!?!?"  
  
"Yeah," said James. "We can't get caught in the library. It'll ruin our image. You should have seen what Snape did to us last time he caught us in the library." Sirius snorted.  
  
"You should have seen what we did to him after what he did to us after he caught us in the library."  
  
"Um, did that make sense to anyone else?" Asked Lily.  
  
"Yes," said James, "We, sadly, all speak Sirius-speak fluently."  
  
"How sad," Said Lily.  
  
"Yes, well, it's a price we must all pay to living with my wonderful good looks, and talent." Said Sirius, primping before an invisible mirror.  
  
"What did I say about a working mirror, Sirius?" Lily asked.  
  
"Shut up, both of you," said Remus. "We have to go to the library. Now."  
  
"Fine." Sirius, looking like Hogwarts had been overthrown by aliens from outer space.  
  
They were just beginning to descend the stairs, as Filch climbed up to the astronomy tower and glared at them all. "Going so soon?" he asked with an ugly smile on his face.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. In which Sirius wants fiddles at his wed...

A/N: Now that I started up on this story, I really want to finish it, so now I'm on a roll. Ok...I'm making this a very short a/n to make up for my very long one that I had last time. REVIEW!  
  
  
  
"Jamie, me biy, what be ailin' ye?" Asked Sirius in a particularly vile fake Irish brogue.  
  
"Well...that annoyingly fake accent for starters..." stated James.  
  
"Ach and away, Jamie, this accent tisn't fake at all." Said Sirius looking very wounded  
  
"Sirius, you're not even Irish."  
  
"Ach, but I am, Jamie, I am. Me Da is Irish, sure as me hope of heaven, and me fear of hell, so he is...so Jamie, what be ailin' ye?"  
  
"Besides scraping frog guts off the Hogwarts roof? Nothing, nothing at all...though I'm beginning to think that Flitch put Peeves up to it...just to find a nice nasty detention, all because we tried to get out of our other detention a little early. And after this..."  
  
"The library," said Sirius feeling so doomed that he left off the brogue. "We're done for. We're never going to come out of the library alive."  
  
"I know," groaned James, as he scrubbed at a piece of frog liver. It came loose, and he flung it in the direction of the bucket. They had to "conserve as many of the frog entrails as possible," according to Professor Evillson, the potions professor. However, the liver that James threw fell a bit far from the mark, slid off the roof, and hit a student in the head.   
  
"Curse it!" James said as he tried to hide behind a bit of masonry while the student cursed and tried to find the culprit. Sirius cracked up.  
  
"James," he said, wiping tears from his eyes, "There is no way you can convince me that you did not do that on purpose."  
  
"Sure as me hope of heaven and me fear of hell I didn't," said James, attempting to imitate Sirius's accent and sounding like a parrot with emphysema.   
  
"Only we Irish can do it, don't bother, Jamie boy," said Sirius, laughing even harder then before. Then he suddenly stopped.   
  
"No, Jamie, somethin' else is the matter. I can tell...ye puor lost soul, ye have not a soul to turn to, tell me now, what be the matter with ye? Ye've been mooning around like a great lost calf, so ye have, and I, beein' yer best friend, yer only friend in the world and all, I must find out, so I can help ye."  
  
"I have NOT been mooning around like a great lost calf, nothing is the matter, and for the love of whatever god you believe in, call me James." Said James, attempting to look annoyed, but falling somewhere between lightly ticked and trying not to laugh.  
  
  
"I want fiddles at my wedding," said Sirius, his voice now completely devoid of any accent whatsoever. James blinked.  
  
"Where did that come from?" He asked, look at Sirius as if he had suddenly grown a tail and decided to call himself "Cuddles."  
  
"I dunno, I'm Irish, and I just always wanted fiddles at my wedding, and maybe a harp. I thought about bagpipes, but they are Scottish and I never did like them anyway, so I want fiddles."  
  
"Um...ok...so now you want fiddles at your wedding...are you going to do a jig up the isle?" asked James. "I mean, that's really cool, but, Sirius, you can't dance for beans. Plus, it doesn't matter whether or not you're Irish, but fiddles at your wedding are just plain weird. Violins are ok, but fiddles?"  
  
"I think the song will be "Go Home With Bonnie Jean," what do you think?"  
  
"Sirius, that's from the play Brigadoon, and that takes place in Scotland. And I don't think your bride is going to be happy with that, unless her name is Jean."  
  
"Good point." He sighed, and then scrubbed some more frog guts. "I guess I'll have to find something else."  
  
"You do that, Sirius," said James, shaking his head. "You do that."  
  
~**~  
  
BANG! Sirius shut his book, hard.   
  
"This is the second book that I've been through," he announced, trying to look wan and tired. "And, I believe it is clear to everyone that we are not going to find out what we need to know. If I went this far, there is no way that there is any book in the library that talks about black flags."  
  
"Sirius, shut up," said Lily, looking very harassed. "You did this when you were halfway through the first book, then totally through the first book, then halfway through the second book, then totally through the second book, and, frankly, if you don't shut up I'm going to put a silencing spell on you, because I don't want a repeat performance on the third." James whistled and clapped. Sirius sighed, and, looking like a whipped dog, went to the shelf, and randomly pulled out a book, and flipped it open to the middle.  
  
"Sirius, that's not going to help anything, you have to at least pick a book related to the subject..."Lily hissed.  
  
"I found it," Sirius said, cutting her off, a look of wonder on his face. "Look, I found it. A black flag has to do with a dark arts creature called a Kickapoo..." Lily, looking seriously unhinged for a moment finally came back to Earth saying,   
  
"Of all people, HE finds it...I can't believe this..."  
  
"I'm checking this out and leaving," Sirius announced, scanning the barcode on the book with his wand. "Because we have this 'secrecy' thing that we need to keep a secret, and my reputation is already damaged as it is being in here, and I won't damage it any longer." He strode out, his head held high.  
  
"I can not believe I just witnessed that," said Lily, shaking her head. "That did not just happen..."  
  
  
A/N: Sorry that it's so short...So anyway, what is a kickapoo? What does it do? What's up with the black flag thing? And why the heck did Sirius want fiddles at his wedding? Well, I dunno about the fiddles thing, Sirius got a hold on the computer and wrote that...but the rest of it, you'll just have to find out.  
  
Disclaimer: All proceeds will go to the Rita Skeeter cosmetics fund, because people keep confusing her with being a cow.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Kickapoos

A/N: I'm sorry to sound complaining, but I'm feeling neglected right now. Ok, my sister went off to the university, and I get her room, but I have only gotten ONE review out of the last two chapters that I have put up. ONE review. And I'm very sad about this. I must sound like a complaining beast, in fact, I know I sound like a complaining beast, and I'm sorry about that. And I'm not going to go into all that rot about "I won't finish this story unless I get ten reviews," because I find that completely stupid. So I'm just going to ask politely, please review. It would make this author very happy. (I need extra reviews because school is starting in two days and it's going to take more reviews than normal to make me happy. School! AHHHH!)  
  
"Kickapoo-a shape shifting animal, which feeds from a person's soul, with the affects similar to that of a dementor's kiss. The kickapoo can change shape at will, by simply growing the new shape it wants to be; then shedding the old one, much like a snake. An animal much used in the dark arts, the kickapoo can read minds, and then change it's self into a shape that would be the shape that the victim would either freeze at the sight of, or pick up and try to cuddle. Being in close proximity with the victim or having them motionless, the kickapoo can easily strike. The most fascinating and dangerous aspect of the kickapoo is that it can change from a harmless niffler to a dangerous dark lord with all powers intact in less than five seconds. The Kickapoo is largely sought after by practitioners of the dark arts, because of their ability to change in to monstrous killing machines, and the kickapoos readily work for practitioners of the dark arts because of the large supply of victims. The symbol of a kickapoo working for the dark arts is a black flag, The kickapoos use it to contact other kickapoos that there is blood about to be shed, and to help come and feast on it. The red flag is a symbol of a kickapoo killing, and that there will soon be more. The kickapoo was commonly found in France, but they travel to wherever there are the most victims. Kickapoos are now thought to be extinct, because there hasn't been a sighting of one in over a century. "  
  
"Well, that sounds a bit difficult, doesn't it?" Asked James lightly, as Sirius shut the book.  
  
"A bit difficult? That James Potter is the understatement of the century. THAT's what we're up against? A kickapoo? Great..." said Lily, her face bright red.  
  
"Aw, come on Lils, it can't be as bad as all that," said Sirius, tossing the book on the floor. The floor, covered in bits of garbage, clothing, pieces of filibuster fireworks, and various other things that were strew across the room. Lily, noting this, remarked,  
  
"Do you ever clean your dormitory, or do enjoy living in filth?"  
  
"Oh, we clean it...er...James, would you like to take this one?" Asked Sirius.  
  
"Of course, my dear Sirius," said James, trying to bow while he was sitting on the bed, and ending up falling off of it. "My dearest Lily," he proceeded from the floor, "We clean this room when we get to Hogwarts, and when we leave Hogwarts."   
  
"I thought so," sighed Lily, and went to go pick up the book again. "There's nothing in here about how to destroy them."  
  
"Then we better go to Dumbledore," squeaked Peter, who was sprawled across his bed. He sat up. "We don't know what we're up against. We need to go to Dumbledore."  
  
"Peter, that was your second useless comment tonight," snapped Sirius, "Your first one was about going to the kitchens."  
  
"Actually, I'm inclined to side with Peter," said Remus, who was sitting on top of a dresser. His feet dangled, and Sirius reached up to pull his shoe off, so Remus tucked his feet under him, Indian style. "We do know what we're up against, and it's not pretty. I say, go to Dumbledore."  
  
"NO!" said Sirius and Lily together. "He won't believe us," said Lily, "no one has seen a kickapoo in a century! Everyone thinks that they're extinct."   
  
"Besides, where's your sense of adventure, Moony?" asked Sirius, making another grab for Remus's shoe.  
  
"My sense of adventure is used up quite nicely every month," said Remus, pulling his foot out of reach again. "And I hate it when you do that. Stop it, you just do that to annoy me."  
  
"Well, is there any other good reason?" Sirius asked sensibly, finally yanking Remus's shoe off.  
  
"He can't stand having one shoe off and one shoe on," James told Lily, "So he either has to chase Sirius around the room for his shoe, or take his other shoe off." Here, Remus sighed, pulled off his shoe, jumped down from the dresser, and promptly put Sirius in a head lock, until he relinquished the shoe. He then climbed back on to the dresser and put on both his shoes.  
  
"You're no fun," said Sirius, pouting.  
  
"No, you're just to lazy to get up," said Remus, tying his sneaker.  
  
"Whatever. Ok, so are we agreed that we will NOT go to Dumbledore?" A chorus of "Yes" and "No" filled the room.  
  
"I'm glad it's unanimous," said Sirius, grinning.  
  
A/N: Ok, that's done, I'm sorry it's really short...  
  
Disclaimer: All proceeds go to Sirius, who is trying to find fiddles to go with his wedding.  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. I've got Rhythm

A/N: I'm sorry about the delay. I got writers block and then wrote a very stupid story about a battle of shippers. Speaking of that I would like to thank the people that asked me why I posted it, and the one person who simply wrote in the review, "sucks." Thank you, that was very kind, and even though I know that it was terrible, I do not need you reminding me, thanks. I would also like to explain to the people that asked me why I did not use slash, and D/H. Frankly, I forgot about D/H, and I don't believe in slash. I don't really care what other people write, but I make it a point not to read slash, because I don't believe J.K. would like to see people killing her characters, forcing them to be totally unlike themselves, and then leave them mangled and bleeding on the floor. Which is what slash does. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make this a lecture. And like I said, those are my own preferences, and I won't judge anyone else by them. Anyway, that's about it...  
  
  
Sirius, James, Peter, Remus, and Lily, were, for the fifth night in a row, sitting in the boy's dorm, trying to figure out what to do. It was a circular argument, Remus or Peter suggesting that they go to Dumbledore, and Lily and Sirius shooting it down. James, who usually took command of such arguments, was unusually quiet.  
  
"I think we should go to Dumbledore," said Peter in a high, frightened voice that he had used for five nights and was grating Lily's nerves to shreds.  
  
"Peter," she said in a low, dangerous voice, "If you say that one more time I will personally curse you to pieces, feed you to Mrs. Norris, and after she regurgitates you unsightly slimy little body, I will put what is left of you into Snape's cauldron, and wait for you to blow up. Is that clear?"  
  
"Yes," said Peter, who's voice cracked yet again.  
  
"Peter, you are sixteen years old. Try and sound like it, please," Lily said primly, trying to control her temper.  
  
"Oh, lay off, Lil," said James finally. "I've been listening to this same debate for five days and I'm sick of it. I say, we won't tell Dumbledore."  
  
"James, you're crazy! Do you know what this means?" Asked Remus, who had bright pink patches on his cheeks from arguing so often.  
  
"Yes, I do, and I think you would be the first one to know how something that looks horrible on the outside won't actually be as bad once you figure them out, Moony." Said James quietly, looking around the now silent (and still filthy) room.  
  
"SCORE! James, I knew you'd come through, buddy!" said Sirius, jumping up and down, and looking like a kid on Christmas.  
  
"I didn't do it just because of your arguments, Sirius, I did it because Dumbledore probably wouldn't believe us, so we're going to have to do extra research, stay up late nights, and figure stuff out. Which means..."  
  
"Putting watches on the astronomy tower to make sure the flag doesn't pass by again," said Remus.  
  
"Practice Hexes!" said Sirius.  
  
"And," said Lily, looking very evil, "research in the library."  
  
Sirius fell of the bed.  
  
  
~**~  
  
Sirius was yet again in the library attempting to look wan and tired.   
  
"Did I mention what this is going to do to my reputation?" He asked.  
  
"Yes, you just might have," said Lily.  
  
"Oh, ok. I just want to get my point across. I am never going to live this down. I'm going to go to my grave known as 'dork man,' I will die an unhappy death because I spent my unfulfilled life in the library..."  
  
"You will die a very long, drawn out, painful death if you continue," Lily muttered.  
  
"Ok!" exclaimed Sirius brightly. "I'll change the subject then. Ahem. Things I could be doing instead of sitting here. Broadway style."  
  
"No, Sirius, no," moaned Lily, putting her head on the table. Sirius hopped up on to the table, and began to shuffle his feet, singing to "I've got Rhythm."  
  
"I'd be playyyyying, on my brooooomstick, I'd be happy, could I ask for anything more? I'd be flirrrrrrting, I'd be praaaaaaanking, I'd be happy, who could ask for anything more? Old man Filchyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! I don't mind him! You will find him, and Mrs. Norris tied up on the back door! I would not beeeeeeeeee, stuck with Lilyyyyyyyyy, I'd be happy, could I ask for anything more? Could I ask for anything more?" He sang, surprisingly not going off key at all. "TAP SOLO!" He yelled, and began to do a series of shuffle ball-changes, which were not impressive at all. Lily deciding to get into the spirit of things, yelled,  
  
"Go Blackie, go!" And tossed a few loose Knuts that she had in her pocket onto the table. Which, with all the din that Sirius was making, attracted Madam Pince. She got there and watched in shock throughout the second verse, and the tap solo, when she finally came to her senses, and flipped the table over, knocking Sirius to the floor.  
  
"OUT! OUT! OUT!" she screeched, pointing at the door.  
  
  
"I think she really appreciates your talent, Sirius," said Lily, as they were marched out.  
  
A/N: Another short one, I know, but I really should be doing geometry homework now, and I'm not. Whoops.   
  
  
Disclaimer: All proceeds go to Madam Pince, who broke her table in attempt to get Sirius off of it.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. "I only wish I had less lives to die for...

A/N: No note today. On with the story...  
  
"All right, everyone, listen up," said Sirius. He was dressed in camouflaged print robes, and was standing up straight with a military bearing. "I'm going to go over this once, and only once. Remus and Peter, you are to go up to the North Tower, and watch for any coming teachers. James and Lily, you are to head up to the astronomy tower, to watch for any in coming flags, no snogging sessions, please," he remarked, looking sternly at them.  
  
"With HIM??? You have nothing to worry about," said Lily, looking offended.  
  
"And I...I am going to sacrifice myself in battle. To annihilate the enemy once and for all. I'm going..."  
  
"For God's sakes, Sirius, the library isn't all that bad," said Remus, grinning.  
  
"Sod off, Moony, I'm making my death speech and I don't want to be interrupted," said Sirius. He took a deep breath. "Good bye men,"  
  
"And women," added Lily.  
  
"Goodbye men and women, I only wish I had less lives to give to the library."  
  
"You're a twit when it comes to muggle quotes, Sirius," said Remus. "Now go on then, and have fun looking up more stuff on Kickapoos."  
  
~**~  
  
Sirius was bored. Very bored. And hungry. He couldn't forget the hungry part. So, Sirius, being Sirius, tried first reverse psychology.   
  
"I'm not hungry," he announced. His stomach gave a protesting growl. Madam Pince glared at him, whether because of his statement or his stomach, he didn't know. But she had had a tendency for death glares ever since she had turned over her table and broke it, trying to get him off...so his was tap-dancing on it...so what? Sirius was sorely tempted to try an encore of his routine, just to see how far he would get before he got a concussion, when his stomach growled again.  
  
"All right, all right," he told it, earning another look from Madam Pince. But he couldn't leave his battle station...Sirius decided. He would look through one last book, and then see what the house elves were up to. He went to the shelves, randomly selected a book, and flipped it open.  
  
"Amazing," he said to himself, "I don't know how I do it...but I am Sirius Black..."  
Then, quite forgetting about his stomach, he ran to find Lily and James.  
  
  
  
A/N: Oh dear. This is ever so short. But it has to be, because I should be doing Geometry homework right now, and I'm not. So...goodbye cruel world...  
  
Disclaimer: All proceeds go to: the break Sirius out of the library fund, because he is going to commit suicide if he keeps going back in there.   



End file.
